USS Potemkin NCC-76927-C
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UnEzee Emotions

Posted on Fri Jan 22nd, 2021 @ 1:14am by Doctor Teagan Ceja

Mission: Sim Logs
Location: Ceja's Office
Timeline: A few hours after Hazeline and Holt are rescued.

It had been a hell of a night, Ceja decided as she made her way to her office. She opened the door and flopped into one of the easy chairs, staring at the window in the sort of manner that spoke of not seeing the outside at all. Nydia and Flora were home. They were going to be OK. She closed her eyes for a moment, so grateful she could feel it in her very bones. They were going to be OK.

Ezrin hesitated outside Ceja’s office, then seemed to stand up inside themself and pressed on the chime.

Ceja opened her eyes, got to her feet and padded across to the door. She pressed the control on the small panel to open the door and smiled at Ezrin.

“Hello,” she said kindly. “You don’t often pop along to visit. Come on in. Do you want anything from the replicator?” She took a step back to let Ez past her.

Ceja’s office hadn’t changed much in the years she’d been the Chief Counsellor of the Potemkin. The walls were a sage green, accented with pictures she’d collected over her travels. Pride of place, as always, were the ones painted by Phaele Aklar, one of Drogan’s previous hosts. The chairs were soft, and comfortable. There were small tables set near them, a resting place for tea cups. A small water fountain sang softly from a spot near the window. It was a peaceful place, and Ceja loved it.

“Get comfortable, I’ll sort us out something to nibble on.”

“Ezrin is grateful,” they informed her, settling on the very edge of their seat; for once, they found themself uninterested in the prospect of food, and remained quiet and unusually still as they waited.

Ceja nodded. She brought across a plate of carefully arranged fruit, and sat down opposite Ezrin.

“You’re quiet,’ she observed. “And not in the anticipating way. Why don’t you tell me what brought you to my door.”

Ezrin’s smile held little mirth. “Ezrin is...scared. Ezrin doesn't like how angry we were today.” They answered bluntly.

Ceja gently smiled. “Ah, but you recall the plan that was made, that we were to be a diversion. We were not really angry Ezrin, we were play acting. Our job on the bridge was to distract the Captain of that ship so that he didn’t send too many people to overwhelm our team, getting our friends out in safety. Sometimes though, we have to process difficult emotions. Why does that scare you?”

Ezrin shook their head. “Ezrin is not meaning all of bridge-beings, Ezrin is meaning ourself. We were angry. Ezrin...Ezrin does not know what we are able to be doing when we are angry like that.” They folded long fingers together very carefully. “Our birth-giver is saying to us long ago that anger is poison. We are thinking we understand better what they were meaning when they said this.” Ezrin looked up at Ceja, large violet eyes troubled. “Ezrin does not like being mean; we are a happy being. But Ezrin is thinking our anger is...scary.”

“Ah, I see.” Ceja said. She took a moment to think, and then replied, “In my culture, Anger is seen as both negative and dynamic. We learn how to cope with it, rather than avoiding it. Am I right in understanding that in your home culture, your people tend to suppress anger? That would be scary if you are not used to feeling it, and then you have to deal with it suddenly.”

“Ezrin is not knowing what ‘suppress’ is, but beings are taught that...how to say...” They paused for a moment to find the right words. “All happenings are for reason, even if beings are not knowing what reasonings are. Ezrin is thinking since we joined strange-ways-starfleet that this is from when beings died a lot on Armellia, before we were learning how to be alive on planet wanting always to eat beings. Ezrin is thinking days-before beings were wanting reasonings to make the dying seem less scary. But beings are still taught this in days-present, and we have been believing since Emergence anyway. If happenings are for reason, then being angry at the happenings is making no sense. Even when Ezrin’s family-unit went away, we were not feeling angry as we were on bridge this day.”

“Suppress means to stop something from happening.” Leaning forward, and waggling her fingers slightly as she chose which fruit to pick up, Ceja thought about what Ezrin had said. She picked up a slice of a pale pink fruit.

“What made you angry on the bridge today?” She asked.

“The being on thief-ship. They were wanting us to be helping them, but also lying to us. Ezrin did not like this.” Ezrin informed Ceja quietly. “Ezrin thinks beings needing helping should be giving honest sayings, at least of important happenings.”

Ceja took a bite of the pale pink fruit, enjoying the sweet-sharp taste of it.

“The Captain on the pirate ship did lie to us, yes. Many people do lie, when they think they can get away with it. Not everyone is as honest as you are. Your honesty is a gift to everyone around you.” She took another bite, then continued. “Those times when someone is lying to you, are when you learn the most. Can you think why?”

Ezrin blinked, plainly not having considered this concept before. Slowly, they replied, “Ezrin is not knowing. Ezrin is not knowing enough about lying to be knowing how to be learning from hearing lies.”

“It is something to think about then. Another time. For now though, your concern about becoming angry. Think of it this way, when you became angry, you learned something about yourself. That you can feel that emotion. You might experience it again. How does that make you feel?”

Ezrin considered this. “Ezrin is scared. We are not liking being angry; we are not knowing what we are able to be doing that way.”

“Alright, so next question. What do you do when you are scared? How do you control the scared feeling?”

“Ezrin tries to fix reason of being scared,” they answered with a shrug. “If happenings are not able to be fixing, we are thinking of days-before or of good-fun-things like lists-of-making. Ezrin wonders, are fixings for being scared same as fixings for being angry?” They asked brightly.

“Exactly. You find ways to calm yourself down, so that the emotion is not too big, and too strong. All of the crew get angry, all of them. But we are all Starfleet Officers, and must remain in control. So, you know the trick, it’s only a new feeling for you to learn to manage. I can help, if you like. But it would mean being pushed to find where the anger is too much, and learning how to see it happening inside yourself.”

Ezrin grinned; there was a touch of relief in that smile. “Ezrin will do this! Ezrin does not like being angry, but Ezrin is wanting to be doing better instead of not knowing how.”

Ceja smiled and offered Ezrin the plate of fruit. “We’ll meet in the holodeck, and work through some exercises together. If you start to feel angry before our sessions, just remember to think of the things that make you happier. Are you feeling more settled and less worried now?”

This time Ezrin took a piece. “Ezrin is!” Without conscious thought, their leg began to bounce. “Ezrin is grateful!” They added with every ounce of their usual enthusiasm.


 

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